Fear and Clothing

Today, as I was walking to my newsagent to buy the paper, I noticed something that is a source of annoyance. The muffin top.What is the muffin top? To those of you unfamiliar with the muffin top, it is a woman exposing her midriff fat with the help of low rise jeans.

Now, I think that many women can look much better, avoid low rise jeans and stick to something that doesn’t make them look fat or fatter. Whatever. The muffin top isn’t a good look.

Because fashion constantly changes, it can be merciless and if one doesn’t keep abreast of change, then one is doomed to being singled out as the muffin top or something else. Here are some things that are definite fashion blunders and can be avoided:

Underwear/Smalls:

• The visible panty line is a faux pas. Thong rise is tacky, looks cheap and is just wrong.
• If you’re wearing a black dress, try wearing skin colored underwear. If wearing white, please don’t wear underwear that practically screams ten dollar hooker, e.g. a red brassiere beneath a white shirt. Yes it does show.
• If in doubt about bra size, get measured. Department stores have assistants whose job it is to measure women properly.Signs that your bra is too small: your flesh runs over the cup. It’s not cleavage. It’s excess and it means that the bra is too small. Also, if you have a large bust and wear an ill-supportive bra, it can bring down the entire outfit.

Accessories:

• Nude colored pumps are for one thing: to elongate the leg. If you wear darker pantyhose/stockings with nude pumps not only do you resemble Minnie Mouse, but you defeat the entire purpose of the nude pump.
• For men, socks are usually matched with a tie. White tie, white socks. But this can vary from man to man. Personally,I don’t think that white socks and dark shoes matter if the pant hem is long enough to cover the sock. But err on the side of caution. The white sock/dark shoe combination has only worked for Michael Jackson.
• Handbags are usually matched to shoes, but lately this rule isn’t set in stone. However, if the bag and shoes are obviously mismatched, it’ll look strange. Think yellow shoes with a red handbag. It has happened.